Johannesburg at Midnight

Everyone seems to have an opinion about going out at night in Joburg, and they all involve a warning. Don't do this, don't go there, don't stay too late. I'm usually a stickler for the rules but let me tell you emigrating is not for faint hearted and I needed to blow off some steam. As I'm writing this, its Monday evening and I've just about recovered from a weekend that was that can only be described as a two day bender.

Before I arrived here, I assumed that I'd be obligated to an unofficial curfew in a city shuts down after dark. That's the thing about reputation - it rarely accounts for nuance and is louder than the lived experience and far easier to broadcast. At some point all the "just be careful" warnings became background noise and the invitation for a night out seduced me.

Friday night started very civilised - dinner out and a bottle of wine with a friend. One espresso martini later and we're arrived at a familiar point in the evening where you're committed and so we optimistically headed to Babylon - Joburg's only gay bar. We arrive and we're surrounded by (mostly straight) twenty-one-year-olds. The shirtless gay-for-pay bartenders who were very clearly working their way through an undergraduate degree felt very on theme. But the energy was high and what's not to like about singing along to guilty pop anthems and so I decided to ignore the feeling that I'd accidentally wandered into a student's union that just happened to have a rainbow sticker on the door.

Another reason I wanted to give it a chance is because Babylon is closing in a month - a common enough story: a gay venue opens, the gays keep it alive, then the girls arrive for the good vibes and the relief of not being creeped out. Eventually their boyfriends follow. The space shifts and what was once an iconic queer club has diluted to become broadly acceptable to the masses. In this case, it seems that Babylon has tipped into student bar territory and so the economics has started to wobble. There's lots of people having fun but its hard to keep a business viable when most of the punters are nursing a single Bacardi Breezer. I never had the chance to see Babylon at its peak but what I experienced was a place doing its best impression of what it used to be. A closing act and a sad loss in a city where queer space is already very limited. So after one or two courtesy drinks we called it a night.

Hard cut to Saturday night and my itch had not been satisfied - luckily we had already planned to go to another queer coded night - Eden the Fruit. I arrived expecting another club and instead walked into a garden that resembled something closer to Alice in Wonderland's tea party - of Alice had discovered techno, body confidence and kink. The best bit about the night was the crowd - unlike a lot of queer events I've been to in London, the people weren't being performative or exclusive and were just there to have a good time and dress like a slut. The only downside to Eden is that it shuts at 1am - early when a night is so good it demands continuation -

and so we headed to the infamous CBD of Johannesburg to Club Am.

After an Uber ride into CBD that was like something out of Mad Max (picture a high-rise city skyline but most of the lights are off and the streets look abandoned), we arrive at our destination - a nondescript door opened up into a smoky dancefloor. The doof-doof music hit me like a wave. The sound system was so good you could feel it vibrating through the floor and into your chest. It was FILTHY. I'm going to go as far and say this was one of the best clubs I've ever been to. No pretence - raw, unfiltered and in the underbelly of Joburg.

By the time I left Club Am in the wee hours - Joburg had given me its fill of hedonism. The city felt calmer on the drive home - the skyline still loomed but it had softened somehow, like the city had said what it needed to say. For once, I can confidently say that the hangover was worth it. I got to experience the version of the city that I didn't know existed - and one that lets you come and go without drama (as long as your paying close attention). I almost feel ignorant for thinking that a decent nightlife couldn't exist in a city with a reputation like Johannesburg. But now I know it doesn't need defending, it just needs to be experienced.

Notes from 26° South.