Finding home in a City of Bubbles

House hunting in Johannesburg has been my first real lesson in how this city works and I've realised pretty quickly that I was applying London logic to a city that has absolutely no interest in it. I was seeking a centre, walkable overlap, for neighbourhoods that blend into each other. Johannesburg, it turns out, does not work like that at all. Joburg isn't one place so much as a collection of self-contained bubbles, each with its own rhythm, rules and reputation.

Once I let go of my idea of a traditional city centre, Johannesburg started to make a little bit more sense. The CBD exists, but this isn't where daily life would naturally pull us. I've been advised, consistently and with genuine concern, not to go there at all. (I shall be ignoring this advice as I have already scouted a naughty little club night there which I am clucking to visit - more to follow on that one). Instead, the city's commercial gravity has shifted north and clusters around an area called Sandton, which feels less like a suburb and more like a city that has quietly decided to become the centre by default.

The further north you go, the safer things are generally perceived to be - or at least, the more visible safety measures become. This is where Johannesburg's version of reassurance shows up in infrastructure: security complexes, high walls, access codes and 24 hour guards stationed at estate entrances. For the people that live here, this makes sense and provides them with comfort. But for me it comes with a certain feeling of distance. We're currently living in one of the northern suburbs (Morningside) for our first month and within a security complex. It's calm, orderly and very well protected - but it feels very removed from the day-to-day life that I'm used to in London (where I lived on a high street and above a shop that sold nothing but tarty furniture, incense and crystals.)

Tensions around the city's reputation for safety has shaped our search for a long-term apartment more than anything else. Because we're here on my husband's secondment, there are certain non-negotiables before we can sign a lease (one of them being that we need to live in a security complex with a 24 hour guard) and throw in our requirement that the apartment should be pet friendly in eager anticipation for our beloved Pluto to join us, means that our search is restricted.

Our relocation consultant (shout out to Charlene) initially suggested an area called Waterfall City, even further north than we are now and close to my husband's office in Midrand. It's immaculate, meticulously planned and a little unsettling - like a real-life toy town filled with cookie cutter homes. While I've accepted my current status as an expat's wife, I draw the line somewhere before Stepford Wife territory and so this area is also a no go.

Instead, we visited areas closer to the CBD and found ourselves more drawn into them. Parkhurst, especially, surprised me. It was walkable in a way that felt almost almost reckless to me as I have gotten so used to driving (or being a passenger princess) to every place we have visited so far. There were dogs being walked on actual pavements, people eating and drinking outside, and the main street (4th avenue) felt lived in rather than just a place for cars to drive through. While we won't be able to live here (due to a lack of security complexes), its oddly reassuring to me to know that version of Johannesburg exists, and that were becoming more comfortable finding our way around it.

So if deciding on a neighbourhood in Johannesburg wasn't already difficult enough, we learnt that the rental market in Joburg moves very quickly and so we had to decide on a focus area to get the best chance to securing an apartment. Apparently in recent months (years?) the shortage of rental properties in Joburg has worsened due to the boomerang migration from Cape Town. Cape Town is Joburg's prettier and sluttier little sister but she's less friendly, and fundamentally, an expensive date. So many Joburgers who have relocated to Cape Town soon realised they were priced out of the liveable spots so have returned to Johannesburg with their tail between their legs, which of course means less options for me.

Alas, being an optimistic guy, I was sure that we would find our Joburg home in the one day we had allocated with Charlene. It was an exhausting day and felt I was being dragged from one estate agent to another like a prized pig in the 30 degree heat. Initially, we were hoping for a decent furnished apartment in neighbourhoods closer to the CBD than we are now, such as Melrose Arch, to Dunkeld and Ilovo. We quickly had to abandon our requirement for a furnished home as unfortunately most landlords clearly have no taste whatsoever and apparently rent out their furniture only if they were happy if my dog were to shit on it.

As I'm writing, we have found our most "ideal" apartment in Ilovo and submitted our application. The area is walkable, lived in and part of the city. The apartment itself has a vaguely European feel, but with an edge that reminds you where you are. Not so far removed that its pretending that the city doesn't exist - just Joburg doing what it does best. If you, the reader, could please wait on the edge of your seat until my next post for the outcome that would be appreciated.

While we might not get this particular place, at least I've learnt what neighbourhoods could feel remotely like home. A local friend we met here told me "Johannesburg is a difficult city, if you can feel at home here, you can live anywhere." Challenge accepted.

Notes from 26° South